Why

The Question That Changes Everything

My life has become almost unrecognizable at this point from anywhere in my timeline of 41 years on this earth.

So much reflection and so much pain and trauma.

Honestly it isn't anything different in a sense from anyone else's life and yet it is completely unique in its own sense.

What is it that we are looking for? Truth? Love? Fame? Fortune?

We can label life with just about any of these goals and yet they never really tell us who we are at our core.

The biggest question is why.

Why do we act the way we do? What propels us through life to go in different directions, change course, treat one person one way and another person drastically different?

It all boils down to “Why.”

I truly believe that a person’s why is the core of who they are and how they function and project themselves in their personal reality.

Turning “Why” Inward

On the surface, asking the question “Why?” is about as simple and straightforward as it can get.

It’s only one word, and we like to ask it about everything — why did they create cars, why do we have artificial intelligence, why do we want to have anything at all?

But the tricky part about the question “Why” is asking yourself that question.

Turning that question inward forces you to confront the parts of yourself you’d rather ignore.

It risks tearing down the story you’ve been telling yourself about who you are.

I think as humans we want to be justified in every way possible to avoid responsibility for our own actions.

Again, that begs the question itself of “why.”

Is it easier to pass blame than to own up to your own behavior?

Why is it so hard for people to really dig deep and ask themselves that question?

The Everyday “Why”

Why did I snap at the guy who cut me off in the grocery store?

On the surface it could be because of just that — he wasn’t paying attention.

Or maybe he truly was being a jerk and cut me off on purpose.

But what justifies your reaction?

Maybe you didn’t get a promotion, or you didn’t land the job you prepped so hard for.

Maybe you stubbed your toe that morning and it spun you into a bad mood.

For whatever reason, emotions will take over and cloud every bit of judgment you have if you let them.

These moments might feel small, but they’re windows into something much deeper — each one is a chance to ask yourself the real “why” hiding underneath the reaction.

That’s not to say emotions are useless.

Emotions make us human and are deeply connected with the concept of human consciousness.

But they can also get in the way and ruin your perspective on life.

A day or two of ruined perspective is fine, but a lifetime of trauma can be extremely difficult to overcome.

So when you ask yourself why, you have to look past all of the emotion.

You have to look past your ego and truly dig deep.

If you find yourself saying the common phrase, “I don’t know,” to me that raises a red flag.

It tells me — at least for myself — that I don’t know myself as much as I thought I did.

“I don’t know” is a valid answer — but if you find yourself coming to that conclusion over and over, it stops being honesty and starts becoming a crutch.

From Denial to Awakening

Most of my life I have gone through phases of not knowing why I acted the way I did.

I had so much pent-up aggression toward other people and myself.

I was stuck in what seemed to be an endless cycle of “why me” and “I don’t know why I act the way I do.”

It is a very difficult thing to comprehend while you are in your life so deep that all you see is a vicious cycle of self-loathing and hatred — masked by outward aggression and a poor attitude toward others and life itself.

And that mask doesn’t just fool other people — it fools you most of all.

You start believing the lie it tells, blaming everyone and everything but yourself.

You tell yourself the world is the problem, that everyone else is wrong, and for a while that story feels safer than admitting the truth.

But all it really does is keep you locked in the same cage.

The truth underneath never goes away, but the mask convinces you it isn’t yours to face.

I found that the question of asking yourself “why?” can answer the lingering sense of “I don’t know why I am the way I am.”

Unfortunately, it requires time, patience, and for most of us, some form of awakening that usually involves something traumatic in our lives.

Trauma has a way of stripping away the illusions you’ve built — it breaks the mask, forces you to stop running, and demands you face yourself.

But when you actually wake up and ask yourself why, things finally start to change.

Your perspective on life shifts and your outlook becomes more realistic.

Your life itself may not change — you might still be stuck at a shit job or living in poverty — but the way you experience it changes.

At least one part of the puzzle is now in place.

The puzzle never really seems to be solvable, but by being able to ask yourself why, the outlook becomes lighter and you can see the light at the end of the tunnel.

You have to be brutally honest with yourself.

I think it’s too much for some to bear, but I know for a fact that if you can dig deep enough, you can find your soul at its core — right where every thought and emotion starts.

The center of your own star.

Your own universe.

And when you’re there, there’s nothing left to hide behind.

No excuses.

Just truth.

That’s where your “why” lives.

As I type, I sit here and ask myself “why” for just about every aspect of my life.

Emotions want me to react in a way that justifies my wrongdoings, but in the end, I’m only cheating myself if I don’t ask the begging question of why.

Because if I don’t, I stay exactly where I was — masked, misled, and stuck in the same cycle I swore I wanted to escape.